simple

After alot of questions, it seems like I'm back to the beginning where it was never really about the hard questions. It's a matter of going to God with everything, even if I don't know everything. Learning to trust Him, knowing that he's going to keep perfecting me until I leave.

I don't think I'm really doing this any justice but I needed to put it down somewhere before I forgot. It's so simple, that I almost can't accept it. That I go to God in confidence with anything, whether it's immature, flawed or confused- knowing that he will keep growing me, giving worth to my work, and a growing understanding of who he is. That I don't have to be perfect before I go to God. I don't have to appear behaviorally 'christian' before I go to him.

I suppose that with time, we will truly follow him and know him more and be motivated by him rather than our other desires- more than now. And it's progressive and continual. I just need to come to him and be with him. How did I ever expect to learn from God at a distance if it was always about us being reconciled to him? If it was always about knowing him, desiring him? I think about me and Sonya, how it had to start honestly with seemingly immature and 'incorrect' stances and feelings. As we expressed how we really felt and thought, we did realize alot of what we knew of each other was actually wrong, but I can tell you now that I trust her and know her a whole lot more than even a few months ago.

Is it really that simple? I had all of these questions- but it feels like they're not as important anymore.