disconnect

Hebrews 11:24-26 By faith Moses,when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.

 When I'm honest and look at what I consider treasure, Paul's statement is a swift kick to my spiritual nads. How much of myself do I give to 'passing pleasure'? What value do I give to them, vs. the 'reproach of Christ'? 

It blows my mind to think about the contrast between pleasure of sin and reproach of following Jesus. Paul says plainly that even suffering for and with Jesus is considered a greater richness than the greatest wealth on earth. What explodes my mind even more is to think about how it really is still about the greater richness, the greater pleasure; not just a choice between living a pious and sucky life vs living in awesome earthly debauchery. It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that in the Bible, God and all his people are saying that the greatest pleasure you perceive on earth is nothing compared to knowing and being with the God of the universe- so much so that even the worst and most painful suffering for Jesus is actually better than the most awesome pleasure the world has to offer to you. 

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Now the question is, do I actually trust God that He is who he says he is- that he loves us, that he doesn't actually want people to go to hell (ezekial33) that he wants all people to be restored to him, and that he has what is actually best for us- because he made us and knows us even better than we know ourselves (ps139)? It's Christianese- but when you have to ask yourself what do you actually believe to be true and what do you live by- it's a whole different kind of question. 

I'm writing this because I have to ask myself this. It's easy to spout out things like this and to feel good about spewing wisdom, but it's not about that. I have to reconcile this in my mind and my heart because lately- I don't see the connection. 

Christian, ask yourself, after saying what I believe, where does my life speak about my belief? Is it evident to people that God is my ultimate reward, more than all things or all pursuits here? Is it evident in what I think about most of the time, what I talk about, my motives for things? In the end, do you really believe the things you say, read or hear about who you are and who God is, and about who Jesus is and what he's done?

I can't say I'm in a good place right now, i have to ask these uncomfortable and important questions to myself. In the end of my life and I'm before God, will He say, "hey welcome home" or "hey who are you, i don't know you" despite everything I tried to do to make things right in my life. 

It has to begin with seeing what God says is truly treasure and what is truly pleasure vs what your world says those things are- then seeing what you really believe to be true. I can tell you when i look at myself, the evidence points towards me pursuing and valuing what the world can give to me as the true treasure, when what I say is contrary. People like me are why Atheists feel justified in their belief. As much as a hedonist revels and consumes himself in what he finds to be his ultimate pleasure, people who belong to Christ have to in an even greater way pursue the reward that is Jesus- a way where people will say; "wow, they really think Jesus is the greatest and truest pleasure, even moreso than what I consider to be the greatest treasure" 

God, I need you to make that change in me. Help me to walk by the fact that Jesus is ultimate- that it's only by him that I can be with you; and that in the days i have left- help me to really understand and pursue that relationship that this is the true and greatest pleasure and pursuit in my short life. Help me to see the things I've read, to believe knowing you and being with you is the only thing that matters in this life. Help me walk by that, live by that. Make that evident. I'm tired of saying all these Christian things (which are true), but in reality living for and believing in 'passing pleasure'.